George Washington is a Phony!

Mr. Thomas Washington?

8/30/2023

Hear-Yee, Hear-Yee! I have here a formal scroll from our Orbit News reporters. It reads: "Your school's principle Mr. Thomas, has been hiding a grand secret from you all. While you may have thought George Washington was your nations first president, it was truly Mr. Thomas"   

That's right folks! You're hearing it firsthand from your school's prideful Online News providers. Mr. Thomas recently admitted to being the true first president in a staff interview on ORB Broadcast. That footage was immediately deleted due to Mr. Thomas being concerned about the leak of this information.  We consulted him later and he gave us permission to expose his secret to the whole school! This was hard for him to come out with because it revealed his true age. Principal Thomas is 246 years old! He was thirteen when elected president, meaning that you too, could run for this political standpoint. 

George Washington, provided by Wikipedia 

Your Secrete 247 year old Principle enjoying a german treat!

If you were given the opportunity Mr. Thomas was given would you take it? Would you ever be president? While it would be a lot of responsibility, it would mean you make your own decisions and even some for others! That also can be a fault in government if that position is put into the wrong hands. Do you have the right hands? Mr. Tohmas most definitely did!

During Mr. Tohmas's teen presidential reign, he made some good decisions for our country! His biggest accomplishment was gaining the right of freedom from birds. I know it sounds silly, but before we were fully established we used to be bossed around and run by birds! Mr. Tohmas, thankfully, demanded rights and freedoms for all species of their own. The birds backed off and the good humans that now make up America crowned him to rule them. He didn't take it that far, but he sure did make an impression on America today. 

About the Contributor

Scout Howell-Dowd

Orbit Online- Assistant Web Editor-in-Chief/ Opinion Editor/ Satire

I  am in 8th grade and love being a part of Orbit. I hope you like my work.